Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
last night I used snow as a chaser
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
