you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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