So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
