You just made me feel so damn special
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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