even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
