she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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