Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I need to align my fucking chakras
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
