Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I didn't shave. On purpose
This girl is more easily done than said...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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