Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
