So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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