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You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
