ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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