i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
