Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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