East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
