Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
i am craving dick and cupcakes
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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