ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
