I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
