why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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