Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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