Me too!
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
