Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
