I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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