he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
