Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
