I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
