guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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