never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
