its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
