i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
