There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
