turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
