We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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