well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
