I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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