Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
