hell yes lets make some ravioli
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
