I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
