Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
