...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i think i have herpe
just one?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
