He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
