I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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