just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize