you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
