sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
