Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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