Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
