DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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