I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
