Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Even my vagina gasped.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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