I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
