His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
