Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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