You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
