there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
